A Note on Today

It's been quite hard for the past 3 days. 

I sent my family back to the airport on Tuesday after their 12 days visit. It was a teary farewell, I normally can hold my tears but not this time. 

Then I went for interview, I knew it didn't went really well. I did not prepare well. 

Wednesday I woke up with headache so I spent the day to basically try to eliminate the headache, by sleeping, drinking lots of water, took panadols. 

Today, I woke up with new spirit, thinking that I have basically wasted one whole day yesterday. Morning was fine, I ticked some from my to-do-list: vacuuming and tidy up the apartment, sort and throw the rubbish, clean the vacuum cleaner, check mailbox. Then it started, I got a phone call saying that I failed the interview on Tuesday. Then when I called another agent he told me that the job market is quiet at the moment. Then I took shower as I was planning to go out to do groceries. The hot water wouldn't stop running, I was panicking in the shower. The tap couldn't be closed. I ran to my room to close the hot water main valve. At that point I was basically torn. Apart from family, stress out from trying to find a job, being told that I didn't get the job, and now the tap was broken, more expenses for me!

Trying to collect myself, I told myself at least I knew where the hot water valve so the water stopped flowing. I called plumber, pick a random one from the internet. I knew it's going to be expensive. I only prayed that the plumber won't be trying to manipulate me (since I knew nothing about this stuff!).

Plumber came, both taps were replaced. I asked him to plug in the bidet as well. The bill came out, it's just as he predicted. For me, yes it's an expensive one but what could I do? It needs to be fixed sooner or later. Sooner is better as I don't want to get thousand dollars hot water bill! 

After paying the bill I contacted my Aunt. Just before she left on Tuesday she gave me money as a gift. She is basically like a mother to me and she considers me as one of her daughters too. I said to her, "God is good, the money you gave just enough to cover the cost of fixing the taps!." 

Her answer is what I learn today: "haha...pas ya Ella.. emang Tuhan yang memberi ya." (haha...the money is enough to pay the cost... it is God who provides.)

Today I learn and am reminded. God knows everything and He takes care of us. He provides us before we even know that we need it. Be grateful, persevere and believe. 

PS: Just as I was going to start writing this post, another agent called me, there's a role coming up and he'd like to know whether I am interested. The salary is below what I'm looking, the company is not as big as I want, but I need a job badly and the description of the role seems quite challenging. So I asked him to pass my resume to the company. I don't know what will come out as the result. We'll wait and see. I believe if it's been prepared for me then I'll get it, if not there's a better one coming. For now, and always, be grateful, persevere, and believe. Let's hope tomorrow is a better day! 

Life With No Formal Job

Hello! So... it's been almost two months since I started life with no formal job. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in May'15. My last day was 15th of May 2015. The company fell under administration. Unfortunately the company was not sold as a group, only bit and pieces. Hence all employees were made redundant. It's actually quite sad as I got along well with the colleagues. We were crazy bunch of people, we had fun at work while getting out job done. 

However we can't only look at the negative sides, can we? So, in a way of trying to cheer myself, I gather some positive thoughts:

1. It's time to move on - I've spent my last 5 years working in the same company. So maybe it's time to start new adventure.

2. I got a redundancy package - so though it's basic, the package helps to cover my expenses in the transition period. I'm of course looking for a new job but I know overall the market is not in good condition hence it might take some time to get a new job. 

3. I got to have one month break - I needed it anyway to clear my mind. Back on the 19th of May I flew home, spent around four weeks with my lovely one, played a tourist in Jakarta, and had bit of adventures in Central Java and Sumba.

4. In this cold winter time, I'm grateful I could stay in bed inside blanket the whole day if I want hahaha

I am still looking for a job of course. And in the meantime, other than having "training" to become a housewife a.k.a cooking, cleaning, this is how I fill my time:

- I recently joined the library. I sort of regret I only joined this year. They have plenty book and DVDs collections!!! I FINALLY watched the Hunger Games and Catching Fire! I still prefer the books of course.

- I took free online course from: https://www.open2study.com/courses. I  am currently taking: Early Childhood Education course, it's quite interesting course. Maybe last time I should be more stubborn and took Education as my degree. I did think to become kindergarten teacher but my parents were against it. Oh well, they say learning is life long journey, isn't it?

- I started reading books again, so far I have read Marie Kondo's The magic of tidying up (yes I manage to tidy up my wardrobe) and Maya Angelou's Letter to my Daughters. I would recommend both books! They are very inspirational.  

- I've been spending some afternoons in the library and it has become my sanctuary. I feel safe and comfortable and productive there. Maybe seeing people studying or writing there somehow motivates me to be more productive. As a result, I create a new blog about life at our home in Indo. That was a really random afternoon! haha

Honestly I start feeling bored being with no formal job, but what can I do hey. Well, please pray for me so I can start a new job soon! 

xx   

Maundy Thursday: The Night of Agony

He knew that he was going to die tomorrow. He knew that he was going to be prosecuted. He knew he was going to suffer. He knew he was going to be betrayed by someone closed to Him.

He was in pain. He was in great pain. Even before He was crowned, before He was whipped, before He carried the heavy cross. He was in pain, in tears, in agony. 

He, the son of God, is human too. He has feelings too. He was afraid too.

But His love, to His Father, to all human in the world is greater than His pain.

It's the only way. He knew this. His love, His perseverance, His humble heart allowed Him to keep going with His mission in this world.

It's hard to swallow your pride. To just be silent in order to allow peace (yes sometimes it's better not to argue and let it go). To acknowledge that you can't do it with your own strength. To kneel down and serve people who you probably look down.

But we have to learn. It's not easy, no one says it's easy. But life is never ending learning process anyway.

Postcard: Port Arthur, Tasmania

July 2013

Maybe it's time

I spend my nights, shedding my tears

Not that I like, I'm just crying out my fears

I know I should not be worry

I know you will always love me

But we are heading different ways

trying to open different doors

And I'm starting to loose my head

while in my heart,I've long been gone

Oh baby, maybe it's the time

It's time to set me free

You'll see me fly

just give me a try

I'll set my wings and learn to fly

Dreamy reality

Postcard: Melbourne 2012